yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so let's talk penis.
operation have a gay friend backfired
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
