I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
