I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
