Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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