You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
