I murdered the dance floor call the cops
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
