My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
