I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
