More tranny stories later!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
