im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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