If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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