dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
