I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
