Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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