Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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