our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
