Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
