16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
