my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
