SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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