he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
