Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
They are going to name an STD after you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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