Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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