how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
