why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
