2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
