Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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