If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
