i just google imaged poop.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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