ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
