I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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