that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
