2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize