Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
