I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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