What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
