..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
