I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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