This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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