...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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