I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
