You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
