I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
