hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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