oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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