How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
