It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
