Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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