if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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