I just threw up on my dentist
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
