I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
