take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
