Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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