I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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