The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize