the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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