I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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