my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
