Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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